Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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