God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize