chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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