Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
