In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize