dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
