Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
