STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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