I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
