Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
