In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Houston, we have a squirter
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
