What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
