Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize