So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
