I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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