never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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