Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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