We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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