is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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