Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
