I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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