i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
