Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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