dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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