I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
