so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
