worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize