Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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