Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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