Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Sober January is a disaster.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
