Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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