I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
