jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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