Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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