My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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