I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
