me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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