i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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