Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
