Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Welp...herpes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
A bitchslap is in order.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
