And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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