I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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