I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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