You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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