sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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