Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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