I wish I could teleport
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize