These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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