Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
