So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
