She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
