He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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