I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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