They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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