Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
