During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize