who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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