physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
