No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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