So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
