I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
