dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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